Haunted by the past or embracing the present?
Reading time: 4 minutes
There are two types of people: the reactive and the proactive ones.
Let me explain.
If it’s sunny, your mood lights up. If it’s gloomy, so are you. Reactive people also find themselves swayed by the “social weather.” A compliment can lift them up, while a bad comment can send them spiralling. They build their emotional lives around others’ behaviours, giving away their power. If you can relate, you’re more likely to be reactive.
And then, you have those who are very good at carrying their own sunshine, rain or not! They’re driven by values, rather than being swayed by their surroundings. The proactive people have mastered the art of subordinating impulses to values. They still feel the effects of their environment, but their responses are consciously crafted based on what truly matters to them. If you can relate, you’re more likely to be proactive.
Here’s a simple example to illustrate my point.
The tennis example
I live in a city where summer lasts six months, with temperatures reaching 35 degrees Celsius and humidity at 90%. Occasionally, I agree to play tennis at noon, but every time, I find myself regretting that decision. Within just ten minutes on the court, I’m drenched in sweat, the ground feels like it’s burning my feet (yes through my thick tennis shoes), my breathing gets heavier, and every movement becomes a monumental effort, making each sprint feel like slow motion. Oh and I get grumpy - don’t even get me started with those drop shots.
My top values in tennis are very simple: improve by 1% and have fun every single time, i.e. basically focusing on one specific exercise and smiling while I play.
But what if I could become proactive? Instead of letting the weather dictate my performance and mood, I could let my values drive my response.
What if I anticipated the worst before I even stepped on the court? I could imagine the heat stroke, sweat dripping into my eyes, the energy draining heat, the broken water fountain, or worse for all tennis players, the game is cancelled due to rain.
That simple exercise transforms my entire tennis experience.
While I can’t control those elements, I can control my game and my focus on that 1% improvement. I remind myself to practice what I want to focus on and, most importantly, to smile.
That proactive approach leads to the best tennis games.
"Remember this: anticipation is the ultimate power. Losers react; leaders anticipate."
- Tony Robbins
How is related to money?
Are you proactive or reactive with your money?
It is every bit related to money.
I used to be a professional victim. I blamed my parents for not giving me the best parenting, the education system for failing to teach me about finances, and my partners for not providing financial security.
I have dozens of stories of clients who, because their parents didn’t buy them what they wanted as kids, are today in revenge spending. They’re trapped in their past, just as I once was.
Let me share a table of common excuses—some of which are quite subtle.
If you find yourself leaning toward the first column, rest assured there’s a solution—you can become proactive if you choose to! Just keep reading and hit reply to share your “best excuse.”
If you lean more toward the second column, well done! You’re likely somewhat financially healthy and eager to keep improving. Hit reply and let me know what steps you’ve taken to further embrace a proactive mindset.
So, what’s next?
As you can see, reactive individuals tend to be "thinkers." They often blame others for their problems, whether they realise it or not. On the other hand, proactive people are "doers." No matter what happens, they take responsibility for their actions and their outcomes.
So, do you want to be your own weather—driven by values rather than circumstances?
Does that mean you should ignore your past?
Well, it depends! If understanding where you come from—your roots, your money stories, your money beliefs—helps you overcome challenges, then exploring your past can be valuable. Sometimes, you need a bit of reactivity to kickstart your proactivity!
However, if you find yourself overwhelmed by too much information or endlessly digging deeper without a clear goal, then this journey might backfire.
If you can't pinpoint the "source" of a problem, there’s no need to dwell on it. You can simply accept who you are today and move forward. If that resonates with you, maybe exploring the past isn’t necessary. You can embrace who you are at face value and focus on becoming who you want to be today.
(And remember, it’s perfectly fine to mix and match approaches throughout your life!)
So, what’s your personal forecast today?
Build your financial confidence to become more proactive!
Sophie
