Our evidence fuels our confidence
Now that you have your desired goal in mind, and taken actions to reach your destination, you want make sure you maintain your newfound habits.
There is nothing more frustrating than having the motivation and momentum to pursue something, only to give up and go back to your old habits due to a lack of confidence.
If you're reading this article, you probably already know how to be more aware of your challenging financial emotions (here) and have an action plan to implement your new habit (here).
To make sure you sustain those changes, let's discuss what you can do today to stay committed to your new habit.
I'm sharing 3 tips to build your confidence so you don't fall off of your newly established routine.
Please note: This is the third and final coaching pillar, known as hAbit (AAA - Awareness, Action, (h)Abit).
Today's agenda
- Collect evidence
- Create a personal GPS
- Ask the right questions
Collect evidence
If you have started any new habit for at least one day, you have already proven to yourself that you can do it.
Make sure you record your progress!
It doesn't matter what format you choose, whether it's writing on a piece of paper or using your favorite note taking app.
The goal is to provide yourself with evidence that you have attempted and succeeded. You want to be able to tell yourself, "I accomplished something today that I couldn't do yesterday."
Building healthy confidence comes from having tangible evidence.
For example, if you have never set foot in a gym, you can't confidently claim that you are good at weightlifting. However, if you have been training for a couple of months and can squat __ kilograms, you have built evidence that supports your confidence.
Collecting evidence along the way is the secret sauce for building your confidence.
Let's take Dan, the 43-year-old C-level executive, as an example. Dan has a tendency to not acknowledge her achievements. Due to the nature of her work, she cares only about the final results. On one hand, this self-sabotaging habit has fuelled her success at work, and on the other hand, it has been toxic. To tackle this, she has implemented a whole accounting system. Every night, while brushing her teeth for a full three minutes, she takes the time to calculate how much she has spent, what she has not spent, and expresses gratitude for one thing she has done.
That way she is reminded every single day about her goal, acknowledges her progress and reinforces her confidence-building journey.
Build your personal GPS
I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach. What may have worked for your cousin may not work for you, and that's perfectly fine.
You want a personalised solution based on your unique personality. So, here's the solution: the personal GPS.
To ensure that you know what to do and how to bounce back whenever you feel lost, keep your personal GPS nearby, visible at all times.
This contains the following five key elements:
- Destination: Rewrite your final desired goal. This way, whenever you forget, you can pull it out and remind yourself why you're doing this.
- Dead-end Streets: Pre-identify potential threats such as emotions or situations that may hinder your progress. By recognising them in advance, you can avoid or limit their influence in the first place.
- Safe Streets: On the flip side, identify what will create an environment conducive to change. For example, consider blocking certain websites during specific times to prevent impulsive spending.
- Silence Inner Voice: Remember, your inner voice isn't the true you. You're simply the one hearing it. Ask yourself, would your inner voice talk to your BFF in such a harsh way? Learn to silence and counter those negative thoughts.
- Fun Day: Dedicate time to do something you love every day, and learn to enjoy the process.
Now, let's take a look at Dan's personal GPS:
The beauty of a personal GPS is that you can adapt it to your needs and preferences.
The beauty of a personal GPS is that you can tailor it as you want.
Ask the right questions
Sometimes you will fall back to your old habits, and it's OK (yes only a handful of people can quit smoking overnight, most people have to try multiple times, years or even decades).
You just don't want to use it against you, such as "oh I messed it up, I might as well go all-in" (remember step #4 Silence your inner voice).
No that's the last thing I want you to tell yourself.
Instead, what I want you to train yourself to assess the situation. Then ask:
- What happened that triggered your past habit?
- How did you feel when it happened? Were you bored, stressed, pissed, angry...?
- Was there anyone else with you when it happened or it's the opposite it happened only when you were alone?
- How did you feel afterwards? (happy, guilty, satisfied, excited, sad....?)
- What can you do to avoid this situation again?
These answers will help you update your survival kit regularly, so you can do better next time.
"Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in ten years." - Bill Gates
Last but not least, life isn't just about reaching the destination.
It's also about embracing the journey. If you can appreciate the ups and downs, the journey will be more bearable, and most importantly, your downs will make you even more confident every single time you overcome your challenges.
Entrepreneurs have successful businesses because they have learned to embrace their journey better than anyone else. They appreciate their success because the road was long and bumpy but they carried on.
That also means you can consider yourself “successful” along every step of that journey, rather than just when you've “arrived” at the final destination.
If you must remember one thing from the series of building financial confidence, I hope it is this.
Learning to love the journey is key to building your financial confidence.
Sophie
PS - Have you read the 3-series on building your financial confidence? What strategies have you tried? What haven't you tried yet? Email me at hello@moneysophy.com I would love to hear from you :)
PSS - If you would like personal guidance on this journey, feel free to schedule a virtual coffee with me so we can discuss further.
