My recipe to win every single time
This week, I coached five clients who were dealing with various levels of financial stress for different reasons. I noticed a common thread among them—they were all either blaming a third party or themselves for their problems.
When we overly focus on external factors, it only builds anxiety because we can't control things like bank interest rates, market fluctuations or how your partner spends their money.
Today, I want to share their case studies with you, and who knows - perhaps it will help you reflect on your own relationship with money.
Today's agenda:
- Redefining success
- Change the rules of the game
- Quiet the self-talk
Redefining success
Josh shared with me his definition of success, i.e. continue to do his job while building $1 million worth of assets to retire according to his plan.
While I appreciate Josh's goals because they provide clarity and direction, I challenged him on his definition of success because:
- Signposts constantly evolve (especially when you reach your $1M, you will want $2M)
- Reaching goals per se brings limited satisfaction (think of lottery winners: their happiness levels always go back to their initial level)
- And what happens if you can't reach it? Do you then become a failure?
What if we change the definition of success?
What if we redefine success as pursuing goals while enjoying every step of the journey?
That way, you can find REAL satisfaction and the "successful" feelings of trying to accomplish something you desire DURING the journey despite its rollercoaster of highs and lows (versus when you reach the destination only).
Change the rules of the game
Another coachee client, Marie, shared her experience of investing her savings in the 90s and losing a significant portion during the Financial Crisis. Since then, she has held her money in cash, in brick and mortar.
Yet, the increasing interest rates have made it challenging for her to cover her mortgage, causing sleepless nights.
While Marie knows what type of investor she is and manages her portfolio accordingly, she didn't consider ALL the costs, including the mental effort involved.
Marie's ultimate goal is to build a $1.5M real estate portfolio in the next 15 years. But investing in real estate is more than just the buying and selling prices—it comes with hidden costs and energy spent dealing with hiccups such as troubled tenants, water damage, and poor agency management, to name a few.
In her current world, Marie loses.
She is stressed because the rules of her game were having the rents cover her mortgages. That rule was limited as it is an adjustable-rate mortgage so it doesn't depend on her, but the bank.
What if she flips the script? What if she changes the rules so she can win every single time?
When the interest rate is high, she will cover the mortgage-rent gap with her savings. When the interest rate is low, she'll use the surplus from rent to invest and grow her wealth.
It's all about adopting a mindset of playing the infinite game. Money isn't about winning or losing; it's about staying in the game. As long as she doesn't give up, she's already winning.
And most importantly, she will eventually get what she wants.
In this new world, Marie wins.
It's important to measure the small wins to focusing on what matters so you don't get sidetracked by the noise.
Quiet the self-talk
Laura confessed that she did pretty badly this month. Laura struggled to repay her credit card debt due to a shopping spree. Over the past three months of coaching, Laura did very well! She has reduced her expenses by 35% and paid back 20% of her total debt. However, whenever she slips back into old habits, she beats herself down, leading to negative feelings and eventually spending more.
Don't let your inner voice control you, control your inner voice!
Ask yourself what your money coach would say or what advice a friend would give you.
Keep going and focus on the progress you've already made.
Don't let the negative inner talk allow your demon inside you to grow. If you let it, you will only focus on yourself instead of the strategy you've set up.
You'll gain confidence by focusing on the positive and collecting evidence of your progress.
Laura already lowered her expenses by 35% - that's absolutely incredible! She changed her 20 years of bad habits within a month, that's the evidence! Use it as a powerhorse for your goals. Focus on the positive, that will give you more confidence.
When it comes to personal finances, it's time to redefine the game and become an infinite player.
By adopting an infinite mindset, you'll find yourself winning every single time, without the burden of stress.
It's no longer just about aiming for retirement or reaching a specific financial milestone like $100K or $1M.
Instead, your focus shifts towards giving your absolute best, consistently outperforming your past self, and embracing the never-ending journey of the game.
And the beauty of this mindset is that you can apply this to every other aspects of your life, from your health to your relationship.
So, what player are you and what game are you playing? Are you team finite or infinite?
Finite vs Infinite Game/Player
Let me leave you with a Chinese proverb to end today’s sharing:
He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey.
He who blames himself is halfway there.
He who blames no one has arrived.
Collect evidence and change the game's rule to build your financial confidence.
Sophie
PS - Those are not real names.
